FOUND: ONE (1) UMBRELLA. black, at the playground, near the swings. it has been there a while. describe it to claim. unclaimed umbrellas join the lost and found shelf, which is full, which is why this notice exists.

SCHOOL BELL: REPAIRED!! the school bell works again, thanks to bobby yard (the uncle of the people). school remains in session. we do have education!! it is just a lil lesser, but it IS education. enrollment open. bring a pencil.

STORM SEASON REMINDER. the shelter is open during storms. it is dry, it has card games, and doober makes soup. if the sky goes green, go to the shelter. if the sky goes green and the animals go quiet, go to the shelter faster.

FERRY SCHEDULE (PERMANENT). the ferry comes on fridays. the ferry leaves on fridays. mail arrives with the ferry. mail leaves with the ferry. do not be on the ferry when it leaves unless you are also planning to be on the ferry when it comes.

SOUP NIGHT IS NOW WEEKLY!! by unanimous vote (ella asked twice). the bowl is big. bring your own spoon. the spoons are fine.

PLAYGROUND RULES (by commissioner yoober). rule 1: one yardian per swing. rule 2: the red slide (or was it the yellow) is still drying (rule in progress). rule 3: have fun!!! (yoober's rules are numbered differently than the forum rules. do not confuse them.)

ONION SALE. tom yard has onions. tom yard always has onions. the sale is that you buy onions. the mayor has already bought his (weekly) (big bags).

RADIO REQUEST LINE REMINDER. to request a song, call the radio line. the radio only plays what is requested. this notice has never needed updating.

PIZZA DAY REMINDER!!1 today is pizza day!! head on down to the italiano restorante and grab yourself a hot slice!! tell them the council sent you (they will not care) (but it is nice)

"THE RENT" BY MAYOR BOB - OUT NOW. the mayors brand new single is playing on the town radio. the council reminds residents that requesting the song 400 times per day is ALLOWED and ENCOURAGED and NORMAL.

RENT ARREARS - FINAL REMINDER. doover yard is reminded that rent is due. this is the final reminder. the mayor has now written a whole song about it. doover please.

PLAYGROUND EXPANSION COMPLETE!! yoober yard has added a SECOND (2) slide to the playground!!! the slide is red. yoober says the paint is still drying. please do not touch the slide until the paint is dry. (posted several weeks ago) (the paint is still drying) (do not worry about the paint)

YARD HOUR RESCHEDULED. until further notice, yard hour will take place behind the mayors house at the usual time, which is the new time. attendance is mandatory and fun. bring nothing. ask nothing.

RE: UNLICENSED BROADCASTS. the council is aware that the radio sometimes plays songs that nobody requested, nobody owns, and nobody can find. this is normal radio behavior. the songs are not BY anyone. the songs are not ABOUT anything. residents who claim to understand the words are asked to stop understanding the words. goober (page manager) has confirmed the songs are instrumentals. thank you goober.

SONG CURFEW REPEALED. the nightly quiet hours are repealed. the mayor may now play his song at ALL HOURS including through the walls of your house including while you sleep. the song is nice. the song is about rent. sleep is when the song sounds best.

CLOSURE OF THE ???? BEHIND THE MOUNTAIN. due to safety, the ???? behind the mountain is CLOSED until the council decides what word fits in this sentence. residents who remember what the ???? is called are invited to submit the correct spelling below so the council can repair this notice.

SUBMIT TO COUNCIL

(the council is waiting)

VIEW THE COUNCILS FILE ON THE MATTER BEHIND THE MOUNTAIN (staff only) (you are staff now)

RE: DOOVER YARD. doover yard has relocated. doover yard is fine. doover yard sends his regards and also his rent, finally, from wherever he relocated to, which exists. the council thanks you for not inquiring. do not inquire.

(old flyer from before the relocation. you do not need to find Doover anymore.)

RE: STEPHANIE YARD. stephanie yard will not be receiving visitors at this time. the mayor delivers her meals personally. she is fine. she waved once. that is all. she is living away from town now.

LIGHTHOUSE STATUS: OPERATIONAL. the lighthouse is operational. it has always been operational. the lighthouse keeper is operational. goodnight.

NOTICE #48 HAS BEEN WITHDRAWN. there is no notice #48. if you can still read this, blink twice and keep scrolling.

RE: TWO (2) VISITORS. the council is aware that two visitors have been asking the town questions from the mainland, through the guestbook and the forum and the website itself. the council reminds residents that answering questions from foreigns is BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD. the council also reminds the visitors that the ferry schedule is private. the council is not nervous. the council has never been nervous. the ferry is not nervous either.